“If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.”
~Lucy Larcom (1824-1893), American poet
This past week was a rough one. Our family got some bad news and it has caused us to re-evaluate a few things in our lives. I have faith everything will turn out fine. But it does take some effort to see the bright side right now. One thing I have learned over the years is that happiness is mostly a result of our attitude. Being grateful for the good things in our lives is a powerful tool to combat the negative and the depression that often follows. To that end I am making it a habit to notice the good things in my life and acknowledge them specifically. I thank God for blessings each day even when I don’t feel like it.
The other major change in my life that has helped me cope with stressful circumstances is cleaning up my diet and getting my vitamin D levels into the normal range. These things have done wonders for my mood. I do not need medication for depression. The winter months used to leave me feeling blue but now I find even the gray days of the season calming and pleasant in their own way.
My husband’s boss had a party on Long Island this past weekend. You never turn down an invitation to your boss’ house…ever. And in this case his boss is awesome so we happily trekked to Long Island for the Saturday party and stayed the night with the intention of doing a little exploring the following day. The location we chose was the village of Southampton on the eastern end of Long Island. For years I have heard about “The Hamptons” and the crowds of New Yorkers who brave the traffic to spend luxurious weekends in this storied area.
The Village of Southampton
We spent a little time wandering around the downtown area drinking in the sites on that gorgeous, sunny and cool day. As you can see from this sign, the Village of Southampton has been around for a while.
In fact, the Village of Southampton was settled in 1640 and incorporated in 1894. It began with a small group of English Puritans who set sail from Lynn, Massachusetts and landed on June 12, 1640 at what is now known as Conscience Point. It is the oldest English settlement in the state of New York and is named after the British Earl of Southampton.
We passed by the Presbyterian Church building.
We said hello to a dog on the top of a car.
We happened upon a seriously cool car. A Dual Ghia.
According to Wikipedia, the Dual Ghia is a rare, short-lived, automobile make, produced in the United States between 1956 and 1958. It was a joint venture between American and Italian car makers.
Out of the 117 cars produced, 32 still existed as of 2006. The cars were mostly bought by American celebrities, such as Frank Sinatra, Sterling Hayden, Richard Nixon and Desi Arnaz. Ronald Reagan owned one, but lost it in a high-stakes poker game with then-President Lyndon Johnson. Dean Martin can be seen driving his Dual-Ghia in the film Kiss Me, Stupid.
After gawking at the Dual Ghia – hoping to catch a glimpse of a celebrity owner – we visited a few unique stores in town including a cheese shop. It has some amazing selections and I noticed their deli offers gluten-free bread. Not paleo, but at least a step in the right direction.
We investigated a fudge shop but managed to avoid indulging in the sweet treats. Such willpower!
It’s a holiday weekend and right now I should be at the beach! But, alas, it is raining unrelentingly and we are consigned to the indoors. Fortunately, prior to the arrival of the rain, I managed to drag myself out of bed early enough to make a trip to the shore for some photographs. Assateague … Read more
Today is my birthday so I hope you will excuse me if I take a few minutes to revel in my blessings. Some years my birthday actually falls on the same day as Mother’s Day. Minimally, both big days are always around the same time each year. It’s a double whammy of sweet gifts and well-wishes. Today, my youngest son’s classroom had a special event for Mother’s Day but it felt like one big birthday present. We did a little gardening, created some art, and were treated to a musical show. I was even interviewed (by my son!). He was sweet enough to whisper to his teacher about my birthday whereupon the entire crowd sang the Happy Birthday song to me. What a considerate sweetie and what a nice crowd!
Here we are with our gardening projects: a planter with sunflower seeds, an impatiens plant we put in a pot he decorated and some thyme we also planted together. You can’t see it but there’s also a clay project in the shape of Nathaniel’s imaginary friend “Rockguy”.
Here are my gifts that include a card he made and a poem. I love that Nathaniel’s teacher emphasizes poetry to the kids.
One of the benefits of a May birthday where I live is the gorgeous weather. This year our garden is already growing strong thanks to my husband, G, who built three raised garden beds last year. Here’s a peak.
“Laugh and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone….”
The poem “Solitude” by Ella Wheeler Wilcox (below in its entirety) is a powerful exploration of an undeniable reality of human nature. There is a natural desire to seek out that which exudes happiness and cheer and to avoid pain and darkness. It extends to our tendency to gravitate toward other people who are joyful and happy and full of positive energy. This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I think it is healthy to surround ourselves with people who are positive and encouraging and exhibit love, joy and peace. No one wants to be around those who are constantly negative, cynical, sarcastic and depressing. So in one sense, this poem is a clue to the reality that others are attracted to us if we endeavor to be cheerful and positive rather than negative and gloomy.
But understanding this truth of human nature also informs us we should not ignore those around us who are hurting. Even though our natural tendency is to seek out joy and happiness and people who exude those things, the reality is we should cultivate within ourselves a desire to help others in their time of need. We all go through difficult times and need help from others who are in a stronger place in their lives – people who can reach out to us and draw us out of depression, grief or other pains.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox emphasizes the uncaring world by exploring not only how we humans often flee from those in pain, but how the earth itself is indifferent to human suffering:
Later, when the air warmed, it melted the snow, turning it into a thick mist that blanketed the landscape. Breathing in the saturated air I noticed how the journey of thoughts can be very different on a foggy day. Not sad, merely reflective.
Pearl Fog
by Carl Sandburg
Open the door now.
Go roll up the collar of your coat
To walk in the changing scarf of mist.
Tell your sins here to the pearl fog
And know for once a deepening night
Strange as the half-meanings
Alurk in a wise woman’s mousey eyes.
Yes, tell your sins
And know how careless a pearl fog is
Of the laws you have broken.
Dedicated to my “Dear and Loving Husband” Gavin who has been my truest friend through the darkest of times. To My Dear And Loving Husband By Anne Bradstreet If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were lov’d by wife, then thee. If ever wife was happy in a man, Compare with … Read more
November would not be complete without this poem. MY NOVEMBER GUEST By ROBERT FROST My Sorrow, when she’s here with me, Thinks these dark days of autumn rain Are beautiful as days can be; She loves the bare, the withered tree; She walked the sodden pasture lane. Her pleasure will not let me stay. She … Read more
Autumn By HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW Thou comest, Autumn, heralded by the rain, With banners, by great gales incessant fanned, Brighter than brightest silks of Samarcand, And stately oxen harnessed to thy wain! Thou standest, like imperial Charlemagne, Upon thy bridge of gold; thy royal hand Outstretched with benedictions o’er the land, Blessing the farms through … Read more
Besides the Autumn Poets Sing By EMILY DICKINSON Besides the Autumn poets sing A few prosaic days A little this side of the snow And that side of the Haze — A few incisive Mornings — A few Ascetic Eves — Gone — Mr. Bryant’s “Golden Rod” — And Mr. Thomson’s “sheaves.” Still, is the … Read more
